I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
