I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
