i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
