Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
