I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
