What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
