oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
