The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
