wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
