What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
