Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
