Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
