Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
