So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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