Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
