im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
