oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
