The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
