hotel room ftw
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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