oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
