I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
