This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
