Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
