you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
