So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
