operation harelip BJ is a go
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
