i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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