remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
