are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
