Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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