Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
