he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
