the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
