Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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