no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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