i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
