Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
