dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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