And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
