He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
this hospital has no fireball
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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