just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
