i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
