Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Randomize
