I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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