After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
