I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
