Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
