i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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