How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
