Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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