when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just had sex bonerless
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
