I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
