My first STD was from a foam party
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
