I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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