I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
